I have been dwelling on what topics to discuss for months, and how to write out the thoughts that appear in my head. Sure I could report on the woolly gatherings and adventures, yet sometimes I want to write something from the heart. Recently a friend had forwarded a quote to me by Abraham-Hicks Publications. Intrigued, I immediately signed up for the daily quote which is e-mailed. The following quote is from Abraham during a workshop held in Spokane, WA on Wednesday, July 7th, 1999. Its words beautifully state what I have been feeling inside for quite some time:
“Inspiration comes forth from within. It’s what the light burning within you is about, as opposed to motivation, which is doing it because if you don’t do it, there will be negative repercussions. Motivation is making myself do something that I don’t really want to do. Inspiration is having the clear picture of what I am wanting — and letting Universal forces come into play to get the outcome.”
There have been incidents which affected my decisions of what I needed and wanted. I had been so stressed out, that in order to relieve the pain I bought close to a ton of yarn and various other things. I did not always want the items presented. Rather, I needed to purchase them because I felt like buying said objects would make me feel better. The need to purchase created a greed for certain items. Before long, my acquiring was out of control and a new stress came about on how I was going to store my “pretties” that I needed around myself to feel mentally better. I had no desire to maintain my home or myself. I ended up with half-done tasks, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes.
The news of my health results on February 5th this year kicked me in the pants. I made the decision that I did not want to be diabetic and that I was going to beat the disease. The want and desire not to be dependent on medication drove me to change my diet radically — no white sugar, white flour, or white pasta; no milk, butter, or eggs. I finally joined a gym, but am not working out like I should. However, by changing my diet, I dropped from that initial A1C of 11.9 to 8.0 and I am proud of that.
Then a light bulb switched in my head about the rest of my acquisitions and behavior. The questions “Do I really WANT all of this yarn? Do I really WANT all of these tools and books? Do I really WANT all of these clothes and shoes?” plugged at me. Finally the real questions, “Why am I holding on to these items? Why do I think I need them? Why can I not do the tasks I set myself to do?” I realized that I had to let go of the items that presented negative energy to my well-being.
I began by purging various items beginning with the 260 groups that I was part of in Ravelry. I asked myself if I was in those groups “just to have” or was I going to participate fully. After removing myself from over 100 groups (hey now, I am still working on that purge!), I looked into the yarn stash and I was stunned. I had never seriously considered how much yarn was in my possession. There was no way I could ever knit all of that delicious fibery goodness before I died. I started a set of destashes, and I felt incredible. In fact purging the yarn bought because I was unhappy was like a release of tension — the rubber band that was drawn tightly to the point of being broken is slowly coming back to its original relaxed shape.
Happy with these latest findings, I began wanting to work in my flower bed again. I also have bought yarn, but now the pretties are items that I truly want to use — not just because I am feeling sad and need a “fix” to feel better. I travel and see friends when I can, and no longer drone about being a lifeless homebody. The feeling of self-improvement continues to grow, and I want more of it! Here is hoping that by late November (my 40th birthday) that I get my wants and desires. =:8