One of my favorite movies in the world is “For Love of the Game” which is based on Michael Shaara‘s posthumously published novel of same title. During Billy’s game, in order to concentrate his pitches against the opposing batting Yankee lineup, he says to himself, “Clear the mechanism.” With those three words, the screams from the heckling crowd then deaden to silence, the vivid colors of the fans become dull and lifeless, and he can finally focus at his task of getting the batter out at the plate.
For quite some time, I have been in a process of “clearing the mechanism” for myself. After realizing the difference of what truly inspired me and what direction I wanted my life, I am following the true (albeit tedious) path towards making myself happy. Along the way there are roadblocks, but I know that my vision will all be worth it. My main goal was to find work in my hobby’s industry, and it seems that there are possibilities in front of me. Since nothing is fully solid, I do not want to jinx myself until everything is all set and written in stone. Hopefully more can be revealed, and I will be comfortable enough to write again as much as I did before my unhappiness drove me to depression and self-destruction. =:8